Coffee and the Human Condition

I hate the taste of coffee. God knows I have tried to stand  in line at Starbucks and ask in a smug all –knowing voice “Give me a Latte” , and then retreat to a little table and pretend I am enjoying it. But they know it is fake when I refuse to use the cute little terms like “Tall, Grande and Vente” (I am still not sure what these mean) and just say “small”. I also  refuse the whipped cream on top and, to add insult to injury, I ask for only half a cup, which drives the barista crazy. Of course I say that I will pay for a full cup, but that does not assuage their opinion of me. In fact I can  only tolerate to sip the coffee by adding two or three packages of sugar.

And as for Starbucks, Peets and their ilk, these stores are the quintessential American plastic copies of the original coffee houses in Greenwich Village in the 60’s. They exude artificial friendliness in a “Steppford Wife” sort of way. And the fact that all look identical, no matter where you are in the US, belays the attempt  to convey a friendly neighborhood atmosphere.

I do however like the concept of coffee, the gemutlichkeit and camaradie that goes with sipping a cup with friends. But even this is sullied when I see the furtive smokers in the leper space outside the building at work with the cigarette in one hand and the omnipresent cup of coffee in the other (Why do smoking and coffee drinking go hand in hand?)

When I travel to my adopted country, Brazil, I do enjoy the institution known as the afternoon cafezinho (little coffee), where one goes to the neighborhood stand up Butequim (counter corner restaurant) and gets a tiny cup filled half with powdery sugar to which is added hot strong black coffee. One is then expected to drink the entire cup with one quick movement of the head. The only saving grace is that it tastes like sweet hot syrup. Again, I like the concept but I don’t like the actuality. But alas, the Starbucks disease has also infected Brazil; they even advertise that they are recreating the “Starbucks Experience” in Brazil.

Ah well, nothing is perfect.